This is a bit on toasters.. and a tangent too. Elke had a post about pictures w/toasters and it inspired me to relate a bad toaster decision of my own. When I moved to california in ’99, I moved in with 2 other guys in a small apartment with no toaster. This seemed OK at the time b/c I didn’t work regular hours, therefore wouldn’t need a toaster for quick breakfasts.

Flash forward a couple years to just before I got married. My lovely wife-to-be Kelly and I were discussing what we should put on our wedding registration. Kelly mentions a toaster, and I, in a flash of not-so-much-now-but-sounded-good-at-the-time-brilliance said something to the effect of “We should get a toaster OVEN so we can make toast, and other toastable things, as well as any other mini-oven related tasks that might crop up.” She is skeptical, given that my mini-oven task list hovers just south of zero, and I haven’t toasted anything in several years (though, to be fair, I hadn’t had toaster-access in several years.). With some fast talking and my effective tools of persuasion, I convince her that a toaster oven is the way to go. So we got a toaster oven.

Now, gentle reader, I must beg a small query from you. Have you ever actually tried to make toast *in* a toaster oven? If not, please let me explain. The word ‘Toaster’ in “Toaster Oven” in no way means that this confounded contraption is in any way usable to make toast.. Let me say that again so that there is no misunderstanding: A toaster oven is incapable of making toast. Oh, to be sure, there are a lot of things that a toaster oven can produce, including funny smells, burnt fingers, blisters, melted candles, melted pill-bottles and swearing. But when you’re in a hurry, and want a simple piece of toast, you are definitely out of luck.

The sad, or should I say sick issue is that the company continues to perpetuate this massive hoax on the consumer by including such things as a ‘light/dark’ knob (which has no discernable effect, and upon taking apart the toaster oven in a fit of rage, is apparently not even connected to anything. It also includes a ‘timer’ which, if perhaps I was using a variable time-frame relative to the star movement on riegel-4 might be relevant, but has absolutely no bearing on actual earth-time, despite the fact that it is helpfully labeled in minutes. It supposedly comes with an automatic toast timer and shutoff to produce “the perfect piece of toast” (actual quote from the literature.) Which does not actually produce toast, but instead will happily produce lumps of bread-shaped charcoal.

So finally, last month, I gave up my quest for mastery of toast, toastable items and mini-oven features rolled into a convenient package and put the toaster oven out in the yard sale for $0.25. I hope that it’s evil will pass from my house and leave me in peace. My wife went out and bought a simple toaster that you place the bread in and press a lever. when the toast is done, it pops up, and eagerly awaits it’s next step (usually down my gullet, often coated in fruit preserves).

It also makes bagels.

—–

I have this love-slack relationship with the Open source ideal.. I use a lot of open source tools, and I have started a couple projects that I want to release as open source, but haven’t gotten around to finishing them yet. I have every intention of getting to them eventually… really. No, seriously. It’s not like I’m specifically rejecting them, or neglecting them even.. everything gets neglected sometimes. Most times. I mean, I’m lazy, but no more than everyone else from my generation. I just have stuff that gets in the way. And usually when i get 10 minutes to myself finally at 9pm after the kids go to bed and I do my chores, I barely have the energy to lift my hand to the remote control and flip on the hockey game, let alone think hard enough to code. But some day man.. after I win the lottery, or fall into mon-ay. I know it’s coming eventually.

—–

Earlier this week I was in my old neighborhood, getting my car serviced and I went to BK for lunch. While I’m waiting for my food, I go to the bathroom and it’s disgusting.. like.. not the worst I’ve ever seen, but bad. The kind of the bathroom where you don’t want to risk turning on the water, because touching the tap would make your hand even dirtier than just a little pee. Y’know what I mean? The kind where you need to use a paper towel to open the door to avoid any chance of tetanus. Ick. *shiver*.

—–

You know that place where you’re kind of between sleep and awake, but you can still think of things? Last night I spent an indeterminable amount of time thinking about angels dancing on the head of a pin.

=> Read more!

—–

When I was in highschool I loved comic books, I collected them as much as my meager income would allow. Then I stopped when I left college, leaving a couple boxes with friends or whatever. Then when I was back in Canuckland in January, my brother-in-law (who has been an avid collector for some years) and I got into some discussions, and he started to show me and tell me about some of the excellent developments that have happened in the last few years. When I quit, around 1992/1993, the comics world had gotten to commercial, with the companies releasing pre-bagged editions, tons of duplicate covers, etc, etc instead of concentrating on good art & stories.

So, when he tells me that Kevin Smith has written series of both Green Arrow *and* one of my all time favorite characters Daredevil then I get allllll excited. Then I get home and start looking. (Ebay rocks for used comics.) I also look to pick up some of the stuff that I would have liked to get when I was collecting originally but couldn’t afford. For example, one of my favorite all-time artists (pencillers for those sticklers ;) is Todd McFarlane (who originated Spawn and the Image Comics line) – and he did an amazing run of The Amazing Spider-man, which included a landmark issue, #300. Now, no offense to anyone with this, but McFarlane was born to draw Spider-man. He did a great run on The Incredible Hulk too, but his Spider-Man appearances pretty much still define the character for me.

Then during a conversation this weekend, he tells me that another of my fave artists, Jim Lee has just concluded a 12 issue run on Batman, and is about to start a 12-issue run of Superman. Damn you! My wife is already on my back about spending too much! DAMN YOU!

So this weekend I finally finish reading Kevin Smith’s first Green Arrow arc, ‘Quiver’ and… well, Damn. Hot Damn. It’s one of the finest pieces of comic writing I’ve seen or read ever. Ev-Ar.

This week, my goal is to try to get through his first Daredevil arc. Riiiight…

Listening to…Wall In Your Heart by Shelby Lynee

—–