mmm.. noodle soop

sometimes you can just smell a horrendously shitty day on the horizon. pardon my french, but today was one of those days. i woke a little after 8am (having not been able to get to sleep till about 4am) groggy, grumpy, hungry, etc. not looking forward to work. coff-ay didn’t pick me up, instead it gave me a sour stomach. i was all grumpy and stuff, right up till about noonish when i went down to the cafeteria for some soop. then i started thinking about how soop seems to represent some kind of ambrosia, a healing nectar of sorts. “got a cold? try some chick’n soop!” or “hey, a flu, definately have some veggie soop.” is it just a catch-all for things we can’t really heal? i mean, you don’t hear things like “man, a sub-dermal hematoma, we better get this guy some chowder..”. but still, when you think of soop, it’s got this image (at least in my mind) of having healing quantities. a nice, steaming bowl just waiting to refresh you and take away all your aches and pains. anyways, i went to the cafeteria and checked out their soops of the day. they always have chili and 2 others, the others were some kind of nasty chowder (i’m not big into any white soops except cream of broccoli) and a hearty-looking beef noodle. so i scoop out the beef noodle, grab some crackers, pay my $2.50 and head back to my cube. i pick up some doritos and a snapple en route and dig in. and after my soop, a wonderous thing happened, i started to feel better. my stomach settled, warmth spread through me, and suddenly i was right with the world. don’t get me wrong, it didn’t do any work for me, or deal with those marketing peeps, or anything like that, but still, it did perk me up. so my advice for those of you having a crummy day.. head to the store, or local deli, or whatever.. and have some soop.

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crazy tech writer and “talks to himself”

so every company including mine has it’s share of weird guys. these are two of the weirder ones. first is crazy tech writer. this is that guy that you know that’s just wound too tight. a couple weeks ago one of the other tech writers made some joke and he totally took it the wrong way, absolutely went off on the joker, yelling right in his face and everything. this strikes me as the type of person who might just come in one day with a rifle and start shooting. also at my company there’s this guy who i don’t know but i pass in the hallway every now and again. and he just talks out loud to himself, like he can’t think unless he’s speaking all his thoughts out loud. it’s kinda weird. but cool, since he doesn’t care about what anyone thinks. if i forget and start talking out loud, then remember, i immediately stop and look all embarrased, and hope that no-one heard me. even if i’m in the car and i talk out loud i sometimes pretend that i have one of those hands-free cell phones just so the other car-drivers won’t think i’m weird. anyways, it’s friday, i’m goin home.

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loneliness

i’m all alone tonight, my wife left yesterday to visit a friend and took my daughter. she’ll be back tomorrow some time (i hope :)
i’m realizing right now what really being alone is. i haven’t been all alone very often, there’s usually friends, family, roommates, etc.
but tonight there’s no-one. i’m just realizing how much i have come to depend on the closeness of other human beings.
sometimes you wish for some time alone and it’s good, but when forced on you, it’s not as good. i am going to make up my mind to enjoy this time by myself,
watch an old movie, make some food, curl up and watch bogart kick some ass. but even though it will be good, it will be bittersweet, since it would be better if
my wife and daughter were here to sit with me. melancholy baby, i hear you.

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even this shall pass…

so today i’m having a little bit of a career crisis. well, maybe crisis is a bit too strong, but i’ve been considering it. all my life i’ve been into computers, working, programming, gaming, hacking. it’s all i’ve ever really done, and i always assumed that i’d do it for a living, and pretty much have been, since i was about 18. i’m employed by a great company, and i don’t really hate my job as such.. but the dillema is this: my work, all the things that i put effort into are entirely transitory. they feed into the ‘capitalist machine’ sure, and keep the economy going, but they’re *virtual*. in 10 years, all the stuff i work on will be gone, no more than a fleeting memory, as opposed to people who work on real, concrete (as opposed to abstract) things. if i were a carpenter, stoneworker, welder, painter, sculptor, writer, great thinker, musician, or architect, then the things i did would really have an effect on this world. my father brought to my thinking the sentiment that “what is important in this world is not what we leave behind but who we touch while we’re here”. i don’t know if that really makes me feel better about what i do, but it’s something to think about anyway.

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