Conversation today at work, going something like this:

(Me not listening, watching seinfeld on my computer.. then catching the end of a statement

“…Like when Tom becomes president.”

(I stop, take my headphones off and start to speak.)

“When *I* become president, I’m going to make this whole place a canadian province… South Saskatchewan.. Or maybe I’ll break it up into a couple of provinces. All these states, this confusion is going to be gone. 5 Provinces… the NorthWest Territories, The SouthWest Territories, The NorthEast Territories, The SouthEast Territories… and the…. Umm.. Midwest Territories.”

“So would New Jersey be in the NorthEast Territories?”

“I could consider making all of NJ it’s own province, but it would be herefor known as ‘Stinktown’.”

“Why would Canada want all that land?”

“Well, we’d technically own it, but rent it out to people.. Like the SouthWest Territories would be on a long term lease to Mexico, so they wouldn’t have the border issues anymore.. and the NorthWest Territories could be loaned out to a long-term hippie contingent for a while. Canada has a lot of land it doesn’t need already.”

“Ahh, but what about Montreal?”

“They might have to be all relocated to Stinktown Province. Except maybe the Habs, although the ‘Seacaucus Canadiens’ is catchy.”

—–