oh man, some mornings i just can’t even think, i’m so groggy and out of it until i get some caffeine. last night i had a hockey game and didn’t get home till 12:30 am, then had to roll out of bed at 8am for work :(. suck-ay. so of course i go through the motions and finally get myself to my starbucks for a triple mocha, after which i start to be able to actually see, which is a good thing, considering i had to drive the rest of the way to work. that started me thinking about my progression as a coffee drinker, and seeing what the next obvious steps are. these are as follows:

phase 1 : no coff-ay.

these people can get up and not need coff-ay to get themselves juiced for the day. i often hate these people early in the morning, as i find them extremely grating on my nerves. for those of you who live in the bay area: no matter how chipper you feel, don’t feel the need to share before 11am.

phase 2 : recreational coff-ay.

these people are similar to #1, except that they enjoy coff-ay sometimes as a recreational drink. these are the people that drink extra whip carmel frappuccino’s.

phase 3 : fluffy coff-ay drinkers

people who are starting down the path of the darkside, they feel like they’re dragging until they get a little caf, but they can manage without it. people who drink single-shot latte’s and carmel machiattos(sp).

phase 4 : medically necessary

i’m tipping into this category. people who just can’t get the eyes open without a couple cups of drip (home or store) or at least 3 espresso shots.

phase 5 : peet’s drinkers.

i tip my hat to people who can drink anything from peets. the last time i tried a large drip from peet’s, my co-workers had to peel me off the ceiling with a wireless antenna tied to some cat-5. these people are the epitome of the dark side. last year in the bay area, 19 deaths and 121 maimings are attributed to peet’s drinkers who had not yet had their first cup, and were interacted with by someone who is in the #1 or #2 category. may god have mercy on their souls, because the peet’s corporation surely will not.

lastly i would like to mention a point that was brought up by a colleague – that i don’t spent much time talking about people who don’t drink coff-ay, or whom drink other forms of caffeine. you’re right, i don’t. wusses.

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