today in church, my pastor used the term collateral damage – which means ‘civilian casualties or damage during a war’. this is a term which has been used a lot lately – by the press, by advisors and analysts. yesterday on the news i saw an image that wrenched my heart, and burned itself indelibly on my soul. an angry father, holding up a picture of his son – killed in our current ‘conflict’. in the bacground stood his wife and daughter – the sister and mother of a dead soldier. and the father stares into the camera, tears streaming openly down his cheeks, emotions washing clearly across his face: disbelief, sadness, grief, and primarily anger – as he shakes the picture of his suddenly lost son at the people and press and choking back his sobs, he says:

“i want president bush to get a good look at this, really good look here. this is the only son i had, only son.”

that sums up collateral damage to me in a way that is much more stark, piercing and personal than recycled pictures of demolished buildings, big eyed children and rows of bodybags. people lost in wartime, no matter how just or unjust the cause are not the real collateral damage. the survivors who must deal with their loss and try to rebuild their suddenly crumbling lives without their loved ones are.

my next door neighbours are a wonderful older couple who we often see gardening, and always take the time to exchange a simple pleasantry. they have a son george, who is newly married, very nice, and a marine, just reassigned to the middle east. every day i pass them on the way to or from work, or the store, and while they still manage a polite greeting, inevitably it is underscored with a deep sadness and worry – an everyday reminder of the damage that this conflict is inflicting on us. i’m not here to debate right versus wrong, or good versus evil, or even us vs them – everyone needs to come to their own conclusions on that, on their own terms. for some, the fathers, sisters, mothers and brothers of a lost or fighting soldier, is the decision any easier because they’re personally involved? i doubt it. in all my ruminations on the subject, the one thing that i have come to realize as fact is that we are all expendable as ‘collateral damage’ in this time and this conflict, and not a single one of us will walk away unscathed.

yours in sadness – may god keep and protect us all, here and everywhere.

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