I just realized something about myself. I’m an introvert, almost off the scale on a Meyers-Briggs test, and I rarely get time where I’m not doing something or receiving input. I have a real problem with processing too much input – if I’m overstimulated (as I usually am, between work, wife and kids), I have a hard time sleeping, settling down and relaxing. I just finished getting the kids ready for bed and I was thinking about sitting and reading, and the first thing I thought of was of re-reading the Belgariad. I’ve read it at least a dozen times, probably more, and I read it at least once or twice a year. My realization was that by doing this (re-reading books that I already have read, often multiple times), it’s almost like I’m forcibly depriving myself of stimulation. I’m tuning out the external distractions (sounds, lights, etc), and yet, by reading something I know already, I am not taking in any new information. This gives my brain a chance to process all the other things that it’s been trying to deal with.

I’ve had a really bad week. I came down with a head cold and was going to take off Tuesday (didn’t happen due to work), then I was going to take Wednesday off (again, work…) by Thursday I didn’t even delude myself into thinking I was going to get a sick day. I’ve barely been able to sleep since last friday, so several nights I just ended up sitting up until the middle of the night working, or, tired of tossing and turning, I’ll get out of bed several hours early and do chores or work, or, if my wife isn’t working out that morning, leaving for work early.

By this point, I’m so sleep deprived I’m almost completely numb. I have absolutely no patience, and I’m wound so tight I can feel the tension inside me. I can’t even think of a way that would make me relax, except, maybe, to re-read something comfortable. Or maybe i’ll drink. I’ve heard that can be relaxing.