Why does church have to be SO FUCKING HARD

Posted on by kylar

Here’s an excerpt of a conversation with my friend Jon that I had this morning.

Me: and *then*
Jon : and *then*
Me: God hit me with something else
Which, as an aside, really frustrates me sometimes
Kelly & I have been going back and forth about staying at the journey, etc
and how does it affect the kids, us, blah blah
And I had a realization: That if God *does* keep us at the journey, for WHATEVER reason, that I can’t just sit by and ‘attend’. I have to put enough faith in God that he’s got me here for a reason, and that it’s easy to be a servant, with a servant’s heart when you love or are passionate about the person (or church) that you’re serving, but he calls us (and, unfortunately, that includes me) to serve him and his church EVEN WHEN I’m disgruntled and upset and don’t want to. That I need to get over my pride and serve in the place he brings me, inside the restrictions, despite all the issues and people and frustrations and anger, because otherwise I’m saying that I don’t have enough faith in Him and his plan. I can’t just glide by
Jon:
Me: So.. that’s where I’m at. I’m asking God to let me know where I should be
and to soften my heart enough to serve there, no matter what goes on
Jon: wow
?
Jon: humility SUCKS
Jon: Saint Francis, BITE ME
Me: *sigh*
I feel like God’s really tearing me down
like I had all this hope about what the journey ‘might’ be and that was all mixed up with what *I* wanted and thought a church should be
Jon: oh yes
Me: and when that didn’t materialize, some of that turned into pride, and anger, and then ‘righeousness’
Jon: especially with the relaunch
Me: Exactly
like “THIS ISN’T WHAT GOD WANTS”
but that was coming from my own ideas of what *I* wanted church to be
and He’s trying to tell me: “Tom, I want YOU to serve others. Not push people into serving others. Not push people to change. You. Get down on your knees and wash some feet.”
And…. I don’t know if I can
?
Jon: sucketh, but what you just wrote is beautiful

What if you ran into God…

Posted on by kylar

In a restaraunt? Would you go up to Him? Or would you be afraid, like if it was a movie star or something?

Kelly: “That’s God. Over there, by the fishtank”
Me: “No way. He would have His own private room”
Kelly: “I’m sure of it. Go talk to Him”
Me: “No… He’s eating. I’ll look stupid.”
Kelly: *pushes me over there*
Me: “Ummm, excuse me, are you… God?”
God, Yahweh, The Almighty Lord, Ruler Of Heaven And Earth, The Alpha and Omega: “Yes.”
Me: “I just wanted to say… I’m a big fan of Your Work. Could I get you to autograph a copy of Your Book?”
God, Yahweh, The Almighty Lord, Ruler Of Heaven And Earth, The Alpha and Omega: “Sure.” *writes ‘To a Big Fan, Love you always, God’*

Joining the Worship Team

Posted on by kylar

So I’ve gone through this grueling, torturous process to join the worship team at our new church and after I sent a little note saying that the first two weeks of the month are harder for me to schedule, we started a banter about my requirements. An exerpt follows:

Well since you asked. The things in group #1 are MUST haves. Please
make sure that there are at least 3 of the items in group #2. Group #3
is entirely optional, but will go a long way towards keeping me happy.

Group #1 – Must Have:
1. A team of 6 white stallions pulling a white, jade-encrusted Fiat
Spider, to pick me up mornings and practise evenings 33 minutes before
the beginning of said occurance.
2. Dressing room + handlers room + private washroom, all painted in
Behr’s ‘Violent Puce’, with accents in the “Warm Burgundy” range.
3. Cheese And Sausage Tray
4. Placed exactly 3″ from the left edge of my dressing table, I expect
a single plum, floating in rose water, served in a man’s hat.
5. New Converse, size 11, in Charcoal Grey or Hunter Green.

Group #2 – Choose 3 or more.
1. Personal on-call deep tissue or sports masseuse.
2. Plasma TV with NHL Center Ice Package
3. Diet Dr Pepper, chilled to 35 degrees Farenheit, served in a German
Beer Mug, with 36ppt grenadine, mixed.
4. A small American Bulldog, dyed green or purple, named ‘Butch’
5. James Earl Jones to announce my arrival, and walk before me,
narrating my day in the 3rd person.

Group #3 – Entirely Optional:
1. Grace
2. Prayer
3. Encouragement
4. Rocking Out.