Chinese Wedding

Posted on by kylar

Kelly and I went to our friend Baker’s wedding on saturday. The wedding ceremony itself was fairly standard, but the reception/dinner wasn’t. Baker’s wife Cindy is Chinese, and the reception was done entirely in a chinese style. There was a 10 course meal, dancing lions, all kinds of cool stuff!

Here’s our ten course meal:

1) Appetizers, including BBQ pork and Jellyfish
2) Shark Fin Soup
3) Broccoli & Scallops
4) Honey Walnut Prawns
5)
6) Baby Bok choi and mushrooms
7) Sea Bass
8) Peking Duck and Dumplings (Mu-Shu Duck?)
9) Fried Rice
10) Cake

I’m having difficulty remembering one of the courses. It’ll come to me in time. We were lucky enough to sit with 3 great people, Jason, Felix and Pricsilla, who were gracious enough to let us know what we were eating and what the protocol was, so we didn’t look like foolish Gwai lo!.

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collateral damage

Posted on by kylar

today in church, my pastor used the term collateral damage – which means ‘civilian casualties or damage during a war’. this is a term which has been used a lot lately – by the press, by advisors and analysts. yesterday on the news i saw an image that wrenched my heart, and burned itself indelibly on my soul. an angry father, holding up a picture of his son – killed in our current ‘conflict’. in the bacground stood his wife and daughter – the sister and mother of a dead soldier. and the father stares into the camera, tears streaming openly down his cheeks, emotions washing clearly across his face: disbelief, sadness, grief, and primarily anger – as he shakes the picture of his suddenly lost son at the people and press and choking back his sobs, he says:

“i want president bush to get a good look at this, really good look here. this is the only son i had, only son.”

that sums up collateral damage to me in a way that is much more stark, piercing and personal than recycled pictures of demolished buildings, big eyed children and rows of bodybags. people lost in wartime, no matter how just or unjust the cause are not the real collateral damage. the survivors who must deal with their loss and try to rebuild their suddenly crumbling lives without their loved ones are.

my next door neighbours are a wonderful older couple who we often see gardening, and always take the time to exchange a simple pleasantry. they have a son george, who is newly married, very nice, and a marine, just reassigned to the middle east. every day i pass them on the way to or from work, or the store, and while they still manage a polite greeting, inevitably it is underscored with a deep sadness and worry – an everyday reminder of the damage that this conflict is inflicting on us. i’m not here to debate right versus wrong, or good versus evil, or even us vs them – everyone needs to come to their own conclusions on that, on their own terms. for some, the fathers, sisters, mothers and brothers of a lost or fighting soldier, is the decision any easier because they’re personally involved? i doubt it. in all my ruminations on the subject, the one thing that i have come to realize as fact is that we are all expendable as ‘collateral damage’ in this time and this conflict, and not a single one of us will walk away unscathed.

yours in sadness – may god keep and protect us all, here and everywhere.

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sweet caffeine

Posted on by kylar

oh man, some mornings i just can’t even think, i’m so groggy and out of it until i get some caffeine. last night i had a hockey game and didn’t get home till 12:30 am, then had to roll out of bed at 8am for work :(. suck-ay. so of course i go through the motions and finally get myself to my starbucks for a triple mocha, after which i start to be able to actually see, which is a good thing, considering i had to drive the rest of the way to work. that started me thinking about my progression as a coffee drinker, and seeing what the next obvious steps are. these are as follows:

phase 1 : no coff-ay.

these people can get up and not need coff-ay to get themselves juiced for the day. i often hate these people early in the morning, as i find them extremely grating on my nerves. for those of you who live in the bay area: no matter how chipper you feel, don’t feel the need to share before 11am.

phase 2 : recreational coff-ay.

these people are similar to #1, except that they enjoy coff-ay sometimes as a recreational drink. these are the people that drink extra whip carmel frappuccino’s.

phase 3 : fluffy coff-ay drinkers

people who are starting down the path of the darkside, they feel like they’re dragging until they get a little caf, but they can manage without it. people who drink single-shot latte’s and carmel machiattos(sp).

phase 4 : medically necessary

i’m tipping into this category. people who just can’t get the eyes open without a couple cups of drip (home or store) or at least 3 espresso shots.

phase 5 : peet’s drinkers.

i tip my hat to people who can drink anything from peets. the last time i tried a large drip from peet’s, my co-workers had to peel me off the ceiling with a wireless antenna tied to some cat-5. these people are the epitome of the dark side. last year in the bay area, 19 deaths and 121 maimings are attributed to peet’s drinkers who had not yet had their first cup, and were interacted with by someone who is in the #1 or #2 category. may god have mercy on their souls, because the peet’s corporation surely will not.

lastly i would like to mention a point that was brought up by a colleague – that i don’t spent much time talking about people who don’t drink coff-ay, or whom drink other forms of caffeine. you’re right, i don’t. wusses.

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early mornin mackin.. and the sharks

Posted on by kylar

ok, so until today i was a sharks fan. now i’m just pissed. the sharks traded their captain, the cornerstone of the franchise to the leafs.. how sucky is that. anyways, i’m gonna rage for a while. today on my way to work i was thinking to myself “self, why don’t you get some breakfast on the way” so i thought about stopping at mickey d’s, but i wasn’t in the mood for mickey d’s.. they make good burgers but their breakfasts are sorely lacking. then i was like “ooooo, taco bell for breakfast” since there’s a bell near my house that opens at 8:30 am for all the freaks like me. so i get there and they don’t take atm cards, so i park my car and walk back to the mcd’s to get something, anything to eat. i’m in mcd’s for breakfast, perusing the menu and i see this egg n steak bagel, looks all good, nice lean steak bits on a juicy egg, with a firm golden bagel, so i was like “yeah, i’ll try that”. so i did. i walk back to my car and get out my bagel and take the bun off to put some hot sauce on it, and i’m totally disappointed. the steak is like this processed steak bitlet patty, and it totally sucks. it’s dry and nasty, and the bagel is all hard like it’s been sitting out. i was totally disappointed in it. i think i’m going to boycott mcd’s breakfast menu from now on. if i get up early and need a little pick me up, i’m just going to go to the office and have a belt of scotch from the bottle in my drawer. oh taco bell, why must you abandon me?

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energetic or add

Posted on by kylar

today i listened to a radio interview with lisa marie presley (yes, elvis’ daughter) on alice 97.3 and she was talking about how she spoke to congress about the willingness, or should i say zeal, of teachers to recommend that kids be put on ritalin or lithium or whatever a.d.d. drug is popular at the time if they are too active. then she went into a line of reasoning that i thought about, saying that it is the school’s place to educate, not diagnose medical problems.

my two younger brothers both were diagnosed with a.d.d. when they were about 12 or so. they were both having a hard time with school, concentrating, all the ‘usual’ signs. bear in mind that this was 10 years ago and the perscribing of long term drugs wasn’t as prevalent as it is now. after a battery of exams, blood tests and meetings with doctors, it was determined that they should try a mild dose of a medicine, under tight control. this meant the same time every day, blood tests and exams every 3 months to determine it’s effect, etc. the point i’m trying to make is that it wasn’t something that was jumped into without a lot of thought, nor was it treated lightly. it seems to me that today any kid who is deemed to be too high maintenance is written off as being a.d.d or a.d.h.d and medicated back to what is considered ‘normal’.

this appalls and disturbs me. my mother is a teacher, has been all my life, and i can count of the number of times that she has seriously thought that a kid should be on medication on one hand. it’s a rare occurance, and becoming rarer. what teacher wants to deal with 30 high strung, undisciplined, untractable 8 year olds when they could all be calm, high-attention and easily moulded by medication? it makes the teachers job easier, no doubt, but at what cost???

are we taking the life out of our children in order to make them easier to deal with? i was a scattered, high energy child (at least until puberty), and i am thankful that my parents didn’t medicate me. if a child is high energy and more difficult to teach, why is the first answer a pharmaceutical one? and that brings me to an even more difficult question, one that i may have an even harder time with.

when a teen or adult is having difficulty such as depression or anxiety and it is determined to be serious enough that medical treatment is necessary, where does that leave the person? if the person is able to reach some semblance of a ‘normal’ life (more about this another time) with the help of one or more drugs, does that solve the problem? is the person being the person they really are, or are meant to be with a little help? or are they only who they are because of the medication? sadly i don’t know the answer to this either, but then again, in my vast 28 years on this earth i’ve finally come to realize that i have a lot more questions than answers, and the seeking is more important than the finding.

usually i’d like to tie this up with some kind of pithy message, but i’m kinda depressed now too, thinking about this. here’s some links for a.d.d. and a.d.h.d. hope they help someone.

attention deficit disorder organization

children and adults with add

the add f.a.q.

these links are only for your guidance, don’t diagnose or try to figure this stuff out alone. get a doctor that you trust. tell your mom, sister, brother, dad, best friend. frankie says: “relax.”

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